It was a dark and stormy day in February. (A tip of the hat to Snoopy and Charles Schultz) It had been raining since September. My shoes are never dry. I am surreptitiously checking my toes to ensure that they aren’t webbing.
It is dark and gloomy in the morning and dark and dreary in the afternoon. At 4:00 PM it is just dark, dark, dark. Dark like my soul. Dark like my mood.
I am sitting in the bowels of Remann Hall, the juvenile detention center in Tacoma, Wa. Literally, the window that sits at ground level is 6 feet above my head. I need a light to see my computer.
The phone rings. It is my Main Man calling from his office in the Executive high-rise in Seattle. I am consoled by the fact that he is in the interior part of the floor so he has to have a light on as well.
“How do you feel about Arizona?” How do I feel? At this point, Arizona is sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and everything. When do I catch the plane?
Well. I can’t pack my bags just yet. The company that employs my Main Man is in the process of purchasing a company that has a chain of gas stations/convenience stores that service the southwest portion of the country. The company being purchased has its’ corporate headquarters in Phoenix. So rather that pay high-rise commercial rent, the company that employs my Main Man will re-locate. I was hoping for Flagstaff but anyplace in Arizona sounds like salvation to me.
The move will take place in about 9 months. Oh, well. I had a few moments of joy on this dark and stormy day.
Time moves on. We have one trip to Phoenix in July during which my Main Man will have some transition meetings and I will take a gander at real estate. We have decided to focus our search on the East Valley as it has better schools and is less developed. My Main Man takes off for work and I decide to have my coffee poolside at the hotel while waiting for our real estate agent. Surprise!! It is HOT outside at 8:00 AM. Too hot to sit outside with coffee. Back to the Lobby I go.
Our agent is running late. When she arrives she tells me that the battery in her car died. Apparently, this is a thing in the heat. My second bit of knowledge for the day. She had her neighbor jump-start her car. She has decided that it will be best to just keep the car running until she can purchase a new battery, so she has brought an extra set of keys. First stop is the gas station. Yep. We kept the engine on during fueling. Nervous? I’m not nervous.
We didn’t blow up so off we go. We will look at 7-9 houses today. I am supposed to take copious notes and ask lots of questions. Arizona builds houses on a slab foundation. To us folk from the Pacific Northwest, this seems odd. We are used to basements. Our agent has found 3 houses with basements.
House #1 — After locking the car and leaving the engine running we approach the first house. There is a grass front yard but the turf is spongy; the answer to my question is that a hybrid turf is used that can handle the heat of the summer months. We enter this house through the back door. The entrance to the basement is to our immediate right. I can’t find a light switch but begin to go down the stairs. A deep growl and snarl stop me cold. I don’t need to see the basement. I know that it is there.
House #2 — Same drill with the car. This is a no basement house. As you walk into the house there are 3 steps up to the main floor with a dining room to the left and a living room to the right. Kind of an odd set-up. We move to the rear of the house and find an Arizona Room. This is basically a closed in patio/sun room. Again, nothing PNW about this.
House #3 — Interestingly, this house has the same lay-out as house #2 but reversed and no Arizona Room
House #4 — This house is funky. The front door foyer steps down to the Formal living room with a fireplace. There is a rock wall and the around the fireplace are desert artifacts; bones, rocks, feathers, and skeletons of animals and plants. Behind the living room are stairs going to a sort of basement. Under the stairs is a room that is 3 times the size of Harry Potters’ closet. A dark hallway leads to bedrooms with bars covering the window. I am told that this is for security. Back to the main floor. The kitchen is tiled in multi-colored Mexican tile. Counter, back-splash, window sills. It is joyous. The kitchen opens to a family room where there is a carpeted sunken space. I can imagine myself falling onto it multiple times a day. Finally, the back yard. There is a long lap pool. Again desert artifacts are placed all around it. This is a house like I have never seen.
House # 5 — this house has a more standard look. There is a small but functional living room. As you reach the 2nd floor there is a small sitting alcove. There are 2 bedrooms joined by a Jack and Jill bath (this was another term I wasn’t familiar with); each bedroom has 2 doors, one to the hallway and one to the bathroom. I am learning so much. One of the bedrooms has a wooden ladder attached to the wall. I climb up and come face to snout with a stuffed Javelina. This is my first Javelina. Between snarling dogs and stuffed Javelinas, I am about ready for a lunch break.
We eat in the car with the engine running. So many firsts today. Then off we go for our afternoon walk-throughs. The first one is sad. A mother is at home with 3 small children. It smells. The house is a wreck. There is a broken window in the door. There is an atria as you walk in where a tree and some succulents are trying to survive.
Last home of the day. This one has lots of personality. It is a single story long, long house.The roof is flat and covered with a shiny white substance. I am told that this is an Arizona roof. There are intercoms to communicate from one end of the house to the other end. The house is advertised as having original art work. This means that someone has painted a vertical mural above and around the fireplace and has painted something on the guest bath wall. The back yard is big with pine trees — a little reminder of Washington. The downside is that the needles drop into the swimming pool.
I am pretty sure that I have a decent knowledge of what types of homes are available in the East Valley. In addition to Arizona Rooms, Arizona Roofs, Jack and Jill bathrooms, I have also learned that: 1) There are only 2 highways; the 17 goes North/South and ends outside of Phoenix. The 60 (or Maricopa) goes East/West and is continuing to be built, 2) The highways have names as well as numbers, 3) The summer temperatures can go as high as 120 degrees but I am assured that it is comfortable at 105 degrees and you don’t feel the heat until it is 109 degree, 4) There are no earthquakes, 5) There are no mosquitoes.
I am kinda ready to go back to my hole in the ground in Tacoma and process all of this information. I am exhausted and need a margarita and a swim in the hotel pool.